Nick and Barry: Get Foxy
by Ghost Archer
Summary: A Firebrand appears in Earth's atmosphere and what it wants is a hit song. Nick and Barry work with Area 51 to do what they can to protect the Earth. However, General Albert Wesker has other ideas. Based on the Rick & Morty episode: Get Schwifty.
1. Act 1

**This new story is based on the Rick & Morty episode Get Schwifty. Expect strong language.**

* * *

Nick & Barry: Get Foxy

Act 1

Outside of Earth, a giant red-skinned gargoyle flies through space. Earth suddenly starts catching fire and land masses start collapsing as winds pick up. On the surface, a man named Ken takes a golf swing in the middle of the storm. A large piece of land drops out in front of him, leaving a large hole. "Hey, golf is easy now!" Ken states as the giant hole got larger, causing him to fall in. "Aahh! Golf is hard again! Golf is hard agaaaaaaain!"

News Anchor Luigi is in a green raincoat and is seen downtown with numerous people panicking in the background as the giant gargoyle stares blankly at Earth. A news title reads "Bat in Earth's Gravity!"

"The view here is the same as yours, Chuck. A giant bat has entered Earth's gravity, triggering climate changes and natural disasters we thought were impossible for at least another eight years."

Chuck Chumley views the situation from the news studio. "Let's not make this political, Luigi. Do we know what this bat wants?"

The gargoyle clears its throat, creating a large wind blast. "SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT."

"Chuck, you heard… said, "Show me what you got." Luigi repeated the gargoyle's words through a spot of static.

"SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT. I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU GOT." The gargoyle repeats, causing a lamp post to fall over behind Luigi, signaling him to run out of frame. From his home, Nick turns off the TV, showing that he and his friend Barry B. Benson were watching the News.

"Oh boy. Time to go, Barry." Nick said as he got up.

"Uhh, where?" Barry asked nervously.

"The Pentagon. I mean, not THE Pentagon. *burp* The lame one, here on Earth." Nick replies as he walks out of frame while Barry flies close behind.

Later, Judy Hopps, Gideon Grey and Vanessa Bloome are standing outside with the winds still blowing strongly. "Is it God? If it is, do we get out of parking duty? Judy asked.

"It's not God, Judy." Vanessa deadpanned.

"She's allowed to think it's god if she wants, Vanessa!" Gideon said.

"Shut up, Gideon." Vanessa glared.

"Ok…" Soon, they see Nick and Barry pull out of the garage in a spaceship.

"Nick, what do you know about this?" Vanessa asked.

"Barry and I are going to look into it. You guys hold tight." Nick replies as they fly off. As they did, Mole arrives on a moped.

"Scary stuff, huh? Pretty creepy. Hi, I'm Mole, Barry's mentor. I'm also part of the street team inviting the folks to the church downtown so we can pray together." Mole said.

"And how is praying going to help?" Vanessa asked.

"Ma'am, a giant bat in the sky is controlling the weather. Did you wanna play checkers? Let's be rational! I'll see you at God's house!" Mole leaves on the moped.

In the Pentagon war room, everyone is arguing amongst one another until Mayor Lionheart calms the chaos. "Gentlemen, gentlemen, one at a time! Wolford?"

"SETI, NORAD, and every broadcaster on the planet are attempting to show this being what humanity's got. String theory, world history, the human genome, to name a few." Wolford states. General Albert Wesker slams his fist on the table.

"Ever thought about sending it launch codes? Mr. Mayor, what our country's got is 70,000 megatons of KABOOM-BOOM! And I say we show it right up this bat's crimson pointy-tailed ass!" Wesker suggested. The argument resumes until a small warp gate appears and Nick and Barry step through.

"Hold it! Don't move!" Two guards approach Nick and Barry with guns.

"Stay back! This ring turns people into snakes!" Nick threatened the guards, who look at Wesker for approval. Albert nods at them and the guards aim their guns, only for a laser to be fired at the guards, causing them to disappear and leave only snakes.

"Stand down. Everybody stand down! I'm the leader of these people and I'm unarmed. There's no need for any more snake-makery." Mayor Lionheart speaks up.

"My name is Nick Wilde. This here's my friend from New York, Barry B. Benson." Nick greets them as he drinks from a flask.

"Hi, Barry." Everyone greets Barry.

"Hey." Barry greets nervously.

"I've seen enough of the universe to know that what we've got here is a Firebrand gargoyle from the Underworld. So you can forget about nukes, and you can forget about math." Nick explains, pointing to the viewscreen showing the gargoyle. "This gargoyle won't go away until *burp* Earth shows them it's got a hit song."

"Seriously?! That's impossible!" Everyone began to clamor about what the gargoyle wants.

"You mean like Vivaldi?" Wolford asked.

"No, _Frasier_. A live performance of a newly-written, catchy, original song. The Firebrand feed on the talent and showmanship of less-evolved lifeforms." Nick states.

"All right, all right. Thank you, Mr. Wilde." Mayor Lionheart thanked him. "Change of plan, people, Get me Gazelle, Randy Newman, Billy Corgan and The-Dream." No response from anyone. "The-Dream? He wrote "Umbrella" and "Single Ladies"? You people haven't heard of The-Dream?"

"You're gonna wanna put them on that giant speaker system at your sonic testing facility at Area 51." Nick suggests.

"How do you know about that?" Wesker interrogates.

"For God's sake, Albert, the fox turns people into snakes. He can use Google Maps." Lionheart argued.

"Sir! Gazelle, Newman, Corgan and that Dream guy. They're all dead." The Mayor's aide, Higgins, reported to him.

"What? How is that possible? Do people just die when I name them?" Mayor Lionheart asked.

"There was an earthquake at the Emmys, sir, and all the musicians…" He explained, holding back a flood of tears. "All the famous ones, they're gone."

"Dear God." Lionheart whispered downheartedly.

"Hold on, sir, just a minute. A Transformer named Crosshairs survived. He's inbound on an F-15, ETA two hours." Higgins reports.

"Good luck, Mr. Mayor." Nick said.

"Sir, the magnetic poles are about to reverse. In two hours, there may not be an Earth to save." Wolford spoke up.

Nick opens a portal, about to leave. "Wilde! Are you a musician?" Lionheart asks.

"I dabble, Mr. Mayor." Nick replies.

"Get this fox and his bee friend on a Blackhawk to Area 51." Lionheart gives his commands.

Meanwhile, at the local church, everyone is in a panic. Church pastor Adam Flayman tries to quiet the chaos. "People! Everyone! Remain calm! Every crisis of faith is an opportunity for more faith! When God deals you an 11, you don't fold! You double down and always hit on a soft 16. That means you, Pines."

"I beg your pardon, Adam, but the last time I looked outside, it seems to be you that had been dealt the weak hand. Pines rule!" Stanley Pines cheered, but no response from the others. "Nobody? Ok, tough church."

It was then Duke Weaselton stood up. "Hi, Duke Weaselton. The name's real, mainly Zootopian. I'm just gonna come out and make this pitch. The old gods are dead. F*** all previous existing religions. All hail the one true god, the giant bat in the sky." Everyone reacts to Duke's statement. "Ah, di-di-di-di. Adam, Adam, I get it, but unless this…" Duke pulls out a cross necklace. "…can beat that… what have you done for me lately?" He tosses the necklace to Adam. "So if you'll excuse me, I'm going out on the sidewalk and dropping to my knees and pledging my eternal soul to the thing that literally controls the F***ing weather! Outta my way!" Duke walks out.

"Ok, if sanity's been restored to this assembly, I'd like to talk about the cost of repairing our new piano. Rachel, the plate, please." Adam said.

"Ohhhh, this is my favorite part!" Mole said, excitedly holding up a dollar.

In the skies of the desert, Nick and Barry are aboard a helicopter.

"Nick, are you really a musician?" Barry asked.

"Who's not a musician, Barry?" Nick replies.

"Me!"

"Yeah, not with that attitude."

"We're in the drop zone! I'm the jump master! The name's Fangmeyer! With an E-Y! Go, go, go!" Fangmeyer signals Nick to slide down the rope, which he does.

"B-b-but we don't have a song!" Barry argued.

Outside the church, Weaselton is seen on the sidewalk on his knees, appearing to pray to the gargoyle. "Giant bat in the sky, please forgive all that we've done. We're sorry for increased levels of emissions and our racism. And of course, the amber alerts I keep ignoring on my phone.

At the Area 51 speaker system, Nick slides down the rope out of the helicopter with Barry flying close-by.

"WhooooOOOOAHHHH!" Nick and Barry shouts as they descend onto a stage with various live performance equipment on it. The Firebrand is in front of the stage staring. Nick picks up a microphone.

"All right, Barry, let's get ready to do it! Why don't you, uh, find a button on one of those keyboards and lay down some kind of beat?

"Rick, I think we need to cut our losses. We get our friends and portal out of here!" Barry suggested.

"Barry! Good music comes from people who are relaxed. Just hit a button, Barry! Gimme a beat!"

"Oh man, ok, all right, um…" Barry stammers before pressing a random key and a beat starts. Nick knocks over a mic stand and starts "singing"

 _Nick_

 _Ahhhhh yeahhhhh_

 _Ya gotta get foxy_

Barry finds a tambourine and starts beating it in rhythm.

 _Ya gotta get foxy in here_

 _It's time to get foxy_

Mayor Lionheart and Wesker are watching the performance on a screen inside.

"Get… foxy? What the hell is that?" Albert asked.

"It's our world's best effort, that's what." Lionheart replies.

 _Take off your pants and your panties_

 _S*** on the floor_

 _Time to get foxy in here_

 _I'm Mr. Bulldops_

"Mr. Bulldops?" Wesker asked.

"Don't analyze it, Albert. It's working!" Lionheart glared.

 _Take a s*** on the floor_

 _Time to get foxy in here_

The weather begins to die down around the world. While at the church…

"And third-level donor get our all access family pass." Adam declared.

"Listen! The storm is stopping!" Judy noticed the storm slowing.

Back on the stage, Nick's song is near its finish.

 _Hey, take your pants off_

 _It's foxy time today_

(End song)

"Hmmmm." The Firebrand thought aloud while those at Area 51 waits in anticipation.

Back at the church, Weaselton continues to pray to the gargoyle. "Please be kind to us for we are but tiny thing with entire bodies stuck to your ground."

At the stage, the Firebrand gave its comment. "I LIKE WHAT YOU GOT. GOOD JOB." The gargoyle flies away. Everyone at Area 51 cheers and celebrates Nick's efforts while everyone at the church lifts Weaselton, knowing he was right.

"Now hold on a second, let's be rational about this." The churchgoers stop and stare at Vanessa. "No, I'm… I'm just saying, we don't know if there's a cause-effect relationship…" Before she could finish, another earthquake hits, causing Vanessa to fall on the ground.

"Oh, God, what's going on now?" Vanessa asked.

At the stage, Nick, Barry and Area 51 panic. The Earth is suddenly surrounded by an energy field and disappears. Earth reappears in another galaxy with four other planets, a disco ball-like sun, and several different-colored Firebrands looking at Earth.

"What the hell happened?" Mayor Lionheart asked.

"Mr. Mayor, you're gonna wanna see this." Higgins said, looking at the screen.

"I think planet Earth has just been transported." Nick deduced.

At the church, everyone sees what transpired. "The bat has left and sent its children!"

"Holy CRAP!" Vanessa gasps.

Everyone gets on their knees and began praying. "Oh dear giant bat, we apologize for that discussion! It will never happen again!" Judy prays to the Firebrand.

Back at Area 51…

"Sir, we've started picking up on a garbled signal. We're decrypting it now." Wolford stated as the screen gradually descrambles. The screen now shows different bands of different aliens on different stages. Dance music starts playing in the background as the Firebrand narrates.

"WE ASKED THEM TO SHOW US WHAT THEY GOT. AND THEY DID. NOW WE'LL SEE WHICH OF THEM HAS GOR THE MOST. 24 HOURS, FIVE PLANETS, FIVE SONGS. BUT IN THE END, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE. PLANET MUSIC! All participation is involuntary. Disqualified and losing planets are disintegrated by plasma ray.

"Uhh, it's probably a bad time to mention this, but any astronauts you guys had in orbit are definitely dead." Nick stated.

* * *

 **Well, that's the end of Act 1. Stay tuned for Act 2. Archer out!**


	2. Act 2

**Welcome back, my peeps! Get ready for Act 2 of Nick and Barry: Get Foxy!**

* * *

Nick and Barry: Get Foxy

Act 2

After Earth was transported to another universe, joined by several other planets, dance music begins to play. "Welcome back to Planet Music! First up, let's hear the latest song from Planet 51. The Greys! SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT." A blue Firebrand reported.

The Greys began to perform, but one Grey stopped the performance and spoke up. "Hold it, hold it, stop! Music isn't about competition or captivity! If you love music, you love freedom. Let these worlds be free, please!" One Grey pleaded, but the Firebrand wasn't happy about it.

"DISQUALIFIED!" The Firebrand screeches, signaling the plasma ray to fire at the planet, blowing it up.

"There's one every season. Moving on to Planet Sanghelios. The Arbiters. SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT."

"Ah two, three, four…" The Arbiters begin to play a simple, underwhelming song while looking at the Firebrands for approval.

* * *

At Area 51, Nick, Barry and Crosshairs are in a studio with several instruments. Nick is playing a bass guitar, Barry is poking at a keyboard and Crosshairs is in the corner. Higgins comes in.

"Nick, Barry, Crosshairs. The timetable's moved up. Earth's on in six hours." Higgins reported.

"Like we're not already under enough pressure!" Barry yelled as he flipped a bowl of peanuts at Higgins, hitting him in the head. Higgins leaves.

"Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!" Nick and Crosshairs said in surprise.

"Geez, Barry. The guy's just doing his job. Take it easy." Nick tries to calm Barry down.

"Nick, Crosshairs, could you guys take it less easy?! We've got six hours to come up with a song!" Barry told them.

"Genius happens in the moment, Barry." Nick replies as he walks over to a keyboard.

"Well, can we at least go get our friends? So we can take them with-with-with us if we lose?" Barry asked.

"That's planning for failure, Barry. Even dumber than regular planning." Nick states as he presses a button on the keyboard. "Balls."

Barry walks over to Nick's portal projector. "Barry, Barry, stop! Listen! The battery has very little power left in this thing. If we portal home from here and back, we're not gonna have enough juice left to get us off-world. Get it?" Nick warned him.

"What?!" Barry gasps.

"Yeah, *burp* you see, I try to shelter you, from certain realities, *burp* Barry. Cause if I let you make me nervous, then we can't get foxy." Nick explained.

"Stop saying it like it's a thing! You made it up!" Barry argued.

"Hey, Barry! Could you lick my…" Nick says as he presses a key on the keyboard with the sample of him saying "Balls". Lionheart, Wesker, and Higgins watch through a window.

"Nick, cut it out! That's not funny, Nick!" Barry yelled.

"I've seen enough. These guys are one-hit wonders." Wesker stated to the Mayor.

"And what's your plan, General?" Mayor Lionheart asked.

"We still have the nuclear option. On my word, we launch a nuclear missile at every one of those bats in the sky." Wesker suggested.

"Our planet's held captive on a live game show and your solution is to shoot the audience? You can put their faith in nukes if we get through this, General. Until then, I'll put mine in Nick and Barry. "Get Foxy" was a jam." Lionheart spoke.

* * *

In the field outside the church, everyone is dressed in white robes wearing bat hats. Duke Weaselton is holding a homemade satellite on a stick with an earbud.

"Hello? Yes sir, yeah. Thank you sir, thank you." Duke spoke into the earbud before taking it off. "He says he's proud of what we're doing and hopes we have a great Ascension Festival! Happy Ascension!"

"Happy Ascension!" Everyone repeated.

"We should pack up and leave town now." Vanessa said, unimpressed.

"I think it's inspiring that our community is coping with fear in a way that involves festivals and homemade ice cream. If you'd stop being such an evangelical atheist, you might start enjoying yourself." Gideon replied with an ice cream cone in his hand.

He sees Judy arrive with a bat hat holding two more. Vanessa double face-palms.

"Whoa! Look at you! You're wearing the hat and everything!" Gideon complimented.

"Here's yours!" Judy said, putting the hat on Gideon. "Vanessa, do you mind if I cook dinner tonight?"

"Yeah, sure." Vanessa groaned, but double backed. "Wait, what?"

"I love you guys. You gave me hope. And it's the will of the many bats that all must honor those they trust." Judy said.

"Dinner sounds nice." Vanessa smiles before Finnick arrives.

"Pardon, Mr. Grey and Ms. Bloome. Judy, are you coming to the Ascension?" Finnick asks.

"Gideon, can we please go to the Ascension?" Judy asked.

"Sure! Let's go to the Ascension. Wh-wh-what is it?" Gideon asked her. He, Judy and Vanessa look toward Weaselton with a humanoid bulb-like spout, an armadillo in a Sheriff's uniform and a mustached man in a white suit and hat and black boots, all tied to a bunch of balloons and tethered to a stake in the ground. The bulbous humanoid is labeled "Murderer", the armadillo is labeled "Vigilante" and the man is labeled "Tree Cutter".

"We hereby send these un-wantables skyward that they might be inhaled by the many bats, later to be sneezed back to us as better babies!" Duke announces as he cuts the first rope. "Batwards, free now to rise." He then cuts the second rope. "Batwards, free now to rise." He finally cuts the third rope. "Batwards, free now to rise."

"Oh yes, yes! Rise to the giant bat! You are free to be free!" Judy cheers to the ascending of the three villains.

* * *

Back in the studio with Nick, Barry and Crosshairs…

"A squeegee comes up from the garage, right? And he's got a lobster in one hand and movie tickets in the other. He's like, "I'm ready!" Crosshairs and Nick laugh at the former's tale. "Who would take a lobster to see Thor: Ragnarok?" Crosshairs and Nick laugh again. Crosshairs notices an empty snack pack. "Aw, damn. We're out of original flavor Fig Newtons. I should get going anyway."

"Wait, wait, wait! Come on, h-hold on a second!" Nick stops him as he picks up the portal projector, hits a couple buttons, makes a portal in the floor and drops through it. Another portal appears and Nick drops out of it with a full bag of snacks in his hand.

"What?!" Barry scowled.

"Damn. You didn't tell me you fool around with portals and stuff." Crosshairs said, impressed.

"That's it!" Barry grabs the portal projector and gets up.

"Whoa, whoa! Barry! Give me that!" Nick pleaded.

"You lied! You lied about the battery! You were just being lazy! Get back! Sit down!" Barry sneered angrily.

"Barry, just put it down. You don't know what you're doing." Nick commands. Barry turns to a wall behind him and opens a portal.

"I'm going to go find Vanessa and Gideon." Barry told him.

"Nooooo!" Nick yelled trying to stop him, but Barry jumps through and the portal closes.

"Ahhhh, s***!" Nick cursed, angry that he let Barry get away with the portal projector.

"Ah, s***." Mayor Lionheart sighed, disappointed at what transpired in front of his eyes.

Barry is seen in three different worlds. His first stop is in Splash Canyon. His second stop has Barry looking around in Wakanda, Africa. The third stop has Barry standing on a sea of farting butts.

"Ahhh, s***." Barry murmured in disgust.

* * *

Outside Vanessa's flower shop, she, Gideon and Judy are hoeing the front yard.

"And then Finnick played guitar and we learned the Seven Contemplations of the Bat by singing them. It was really fun. Praise be the bat!" Judy declares.

"Praise be the…" Vanessa and Gideon repeat partway.

"Yeah." Gideon murmurs.

Weaselton arrives on a bicycle with a seat, bell ringing.

"Hi folks, Head Priest Weaselton. Thanks for farming all those potatoes. It's 6 p.m., so if you're a caregiver, you're now entitled to adoration from your friends." Weaselton announces.

"I'm going to start dinner." Judy tells Vanessa and Gideon as she walks inside.

"I don't know what to say. Judy is doing really well here." Vanessa comments.

"She's aced every test in potato class, and look how important potatoes have become."

An obese lawyer floats by in the background with the label "Corrupt Official".

"She's in more patrols, found a lot of missing pets, never missed curfew…"

"Please help me! You can reach me if you try. Please help me!" The lawyer, Layton T. Montgomery pleads for help.

"That's not our business if Judy is thriving."

Inside the Hopps household, Judy serves dinner at the table.

"Taco time!" Judy pulls off the lid to reveal exactly 12 tacos. "I hope it pleases you as the bat desires."

"That's wonderful, Judy!" Vanessa smiles.

"We're so proud of you. But honestly, you don't have to make dinner every night." Gideon said picking up a taco.

"Of course I do, silly." Judy replies, but gasps in shock at what she just said, dropping the lid. "Oh my god, Gideon, I'm sorry I called you silly! I'm so sorry!" She turns around and drops to her knees. "Heavenly bat and aerial creator! Forgive my transgressions against friends and community! May my duties complete me as I complete them!" She sulks out of the room and up the stairs.

* * *

Barry stumbles out of another portal in a jungle world and collapses with the portal projector in his hand. A figure looms over Barry, pokes him with a cane and rolls him over.

"Barry." Barry hears a familiar voice.

"Le Paradox?" Barry asked.

"You look like you're dying." Le Paradox spoke. "I'll do what I can to heal you, but can promise nothing."

* * *

In the studio, Nick plays with the keyboard while Crosshairs is in the corner polishing his gun. Nick plays around with a little tune.

"Wh-what do you think, Crosshairs? Probably a little overdeveloped." Nick commented on the tune.

"S***. Overdeveloped, underdeveloped. Bad songs are bad songs." Crosshairs said.

"Well, do you think maybe, could you give me some help with it, or…?" Nick asked.

"Ah, hell no, man. You do your thing, but I can't afford to get my pride wrapped up in your shame. You know what I'm sayin'?" Crosshairs asked.

"Crosshairs, I don't want to be a negative Nelson or anything, but *burp* if Barry doesn't come back with my portal projector and I eat it out there, it's, uh, kind of your problem too." Nick pleaded.

"Tsk! I ain't worried about no Earth blowing up, man." Crosshairs said.

"What? Why not?" Nick asked.

"It's because of this." Crosshairs reveals his damaged Autobots emblem on his chest.

"What the freak? I thought Higgins was joking when he said you were a Transformer!" Nick said.

"My story begins at the dawn of time in the far away planet of Cybertron. There, every inhabitant is a Transformer like yours truly. But my leader, Optimus Prime was displeased when I carelessly allowed my allies Hound and Drift battle a Decepticon named Lockdown on their own. As a result, they were badly wounded in the battle and Optimus sent me to the Three Masters of Judgment: Raiden, God of Thunder, Wonder Woman, princess of the Amazons, and Doctor Fate, agent of the Lords of Order. They exiled me for my carelessness in battle and sent me here. So, if Earth goes down, don't expect them to take me with it." Crosshairs told his tale.

"Take it from me, Crosshairs. *burp* You can't just float around in space being careless forever." Nick said.

"Tsk! Just watch me. Good luck, Nick." Crosshairs said before taking off out of the ceiling.

"Ok, things are getting out of hand. I better make sure Nick has everything he needs to "get foxy"." Lionheart said.

"Oh, for God's sake, I've had enough of this." Wesker sighed before pulling a gun on Mayor Lionheart.

"What the hell are you doing, Albert? I'm the goddamn Mayor of Zoo-freakin'-topia!" Lionheart yelled.

"I'm setting the nuclear option to launch one minute into Earth's performance. And you, Mr. Mayor, I hope you can handle a gun to the face." Wesker scowls.

"Wait, wait, wait, why-why…" Mayor Lionheart stammered before Wesker pistol-whips Lionheart, knocking him to the ground.

* * *

At Le Paradox's blimp, Le Paradox serves Barry a bowl of food and tinkers with the portal gun.

"I believe I can access the history of Nick's gun and help you get back to him." Le Paradox states.

"But can you help me get to my friends? You know, at the flower shop?" Barry asked.

"Does your plan involve abandoning Nick using his own portal gun? This is considered what you people call a jerk move." Le Paradox said.

"All of Nick's moves are jerk moves!" Barry yelled before noticing the contents of the bowl. "Wh-what am I eating? What is this, pollen?"

"Just some debris I found in my carpet. I have little knowledge of what most animals eat." Le Paradox said before Dawn Bellwether comes in wearing a bath robe.

"You know what THIS animal eats!" Bellwether said smiling.

"Please don't be gross, Dawn." Le Paradox said.

Bellwether leans over to Barry and whispers. "Skunk… d***."

"Okay. Dawn… gross. Le Paradox, you always stick up for Nick, but he doesn't care about anyone but himself. He doesn't think about the consequences of anything he does." Barry stated.

"And as a result, he has the power to save or destroy entire worlds. And he is the reason you and I know each other. And the reason I'm alive at all." Le Paradox said. Barry looks over to a set of pictures of Le Paradox and Nick with the last one showing Nick carrying a baby bumblebee.

"What's that? Who's that baby bee?" Barry asked.

"Monsieur Barry, suppose you could retrieve your friends from Earth but abandon Nick. I could give your loved ones shelter on my blimp, even jobs, possibly as art restorers. How often do you think you might look up at the stars and wonder what might have been had you just put your faith in Nick?" Le Paradox asks. Barry stands deep in thought. He hears Planet Music starting back up on the TV.

"That was Crypto and the Furons with "Heart of Ice, Soul of Fire". Up next, planet Earth!" The Firebrand reports.

"Oh god! We're up?!" Barry gasps in shock.

* * *

Back at the Church, Weaselton with other Batism priests are talking with Vanessa and Gideon.

"Gideon and Vanessa, your group is a golden example of what Batism has to offer the world." Weaselton stated.

"The world?" Vanessa asked.

"Batism is a hit. We're taking it worldwide and would like Gideon to be our church's head of advertising." Weaselton spoke.

"You… would?"

"And Vanessa, we would like to promote you from florist to chief of agriculture." Weaselton continued.

"That's my dream! That's my dream." Vanessa stood up, excited.

"Thank you. This is all so overwhelming but, uh… we can't." Gideon said.

"Absolutely not." Vanessa spoke in unison with Gideon.

"I'm sorry?" Weaselton double backed.

"We've waited 23 years for Judy to respect us for whom we really are, but it has to be "our" friend, not this person she's become." Vanessa said.

"We'll take our chances finding her peace without fancy new jobs outside of a potato-based religion." Gideon stated. He turns to Vanessa and places his hands on her shoulders. "And you know what? I'm sick of pretending that we met because of Judy and Barry in the first place! You and I became friends because you're the star in my sky!"

Vanessa puts her hands on Gideon's waist. "And I'm lucky to have met you and I never tell you that! You know, we will come out of this stronger as friends!"

Suddenly, Gideon and Vanessa find themselves being tied to balloons by Judy outside.

"Please don't do this, please don't do this! Judy!" Vanessa shouted.

"Judy, listen carefully. I stole a staple and I have it in my cheek but I don't know what to do with it and it hurts." Gideon tells her.

"You're going to be okay!" Judy ties another balloon to them. "You will come back as babies!"

"I AM a baby! I'm a baby NOW!" Gideon screamed.

* * *

In the now empty studio, a portal opens up and Barry flies through. "Hello? Is anybody here?" He looks through the studio window and sees Mayor Lionheart tied up. "Mr. Mayor!" Barry darts out of the studio to Lionheart and unties him. Mayor Lionheart climbs up to the console and presses a button.

"This is Jungle King. Code terra-niner-delta! Abort launch! Abort! Hello?" He receives no response. He releases the button. "Blast! He's blocked me out."

"Sir, I need to get to the stage and help Nick get foxy!" Barry pleaded.

"It won't matter how foxy you get, Barry. Wesker's got nukes set to launch halfway through Earth's song!" Lionheart reported.

"Oh my God! A-a-are you any good at flying a Blackhawk?" Barry asked.

"Can Donkey Kong's d*** fit through a donut?" Lionheart asked.

"Uhhh, I'm not sure?" Barry said puzzled.

"Exactly!" Lionheart replies.

* * *

Up on the stage, Nick stands before the Firebrands.

"SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT." The Firebrand demands a song.

"Ahem…" Nick clears his throat as a low-key, bouncy song starts. "Uhhh… lop-oo-lop-oo-lop-oo-dups, nop-oo-nop-oo-nop-oo-nuts."

Back at the church courtyard…

"Batward free now to rise!" Weaselton prepares to cut the rope before Mole notices the Firebrands feeling angry.

"Hey! Look at the bats! Looks like the bats are getting angry!" Mole speaks up

In the desert, Lionheart is flying a helicopter clumsily with Barry in tow. "I'm really bad at this, Barry! There are way too many buttons on this thing!" Mayor Lionheart states.

"Mr. Mayor, if I've learned one thing today, it's that sometimes, you have to not give a f***!

Onstage, Nick continues the song. "Nup-oo-nup-oo-nup-oo-nups… Ooh, tough crowd."

Back at the church, Weaselton prepares to cut Vanessa and Gideon loose. "I'm sure that has… that has nothing to do with this." He cuts the rope and the Firebrands immediately begin booing.

"The bats are displeased!" Judy gasps before jumping up and grabbing Vanessa and Gideon's legs.

"Judy!" Finnick shouts, jumping up and grabbing Judy.

* * *

On the stage, Nick continues his song as the Blackhawk arrives. Lionheart slides down a rope while Barry flies down beside him with both landing on the stage. "Barry!" Nick smiles, relieved that he arrived.

The Firebrands begin cheering with "Yay!" and "Hooray!" among others with smiles on their faces. The now unmanned helicopter crashes by the stage.

Outside the church, Judy and Finnick are pulling Vanessa and Gideon down to the ground.

"The bats love this! The bats love it when we DON'T kill Vanessa and Gideon!" Mole interprets.

"No! Stop that! You're not allowed to interpret the will of the bats!" Weaselton argued.

On the stage, Mayor Lionheart grabs a microphone and speaks to the control room staff.

"Call off the nuclear strike! This is the Mayor of Zootopia! Stop the nuclear missile launch!" Lionheart commanded the staff. Albert is very impatient.

"Just launch the missiles!" Albert yells, smashing a button as two nuclear missiles emerge from the ground in the desert. The Firebrands watch on as the missiles fly toward a blue Firebrand and lay puny explosions on its leg.

"BOO! NOT COOL!" The blue Firebrand shouts.

* * *

Outside the church…

"I'm the only one that understands what the bats want!" Weaselton pleaded. The red Firebrand zooms in close to Earth.

"DISQUALIFIED!" The red Firebrand screeches.

"The bats disqualified Weaselton! Get him!" Mole commands the mob to attack Weaselton, who does so. The Firebrand zooms in closer to the stage.

"DISQUALIFIED! DISQUALIFIED!" The Firebrand screeches once more as the plasma ray aims at Earth and starts powering up. The control room staff evacuates in a panic. The plasma ray fires right at the stage, but something flies in the way and blocks it.

"Crosshairs?"

"That's right! It's me, Crosshairs! I understand now! You helped me understand! With all due respect, I'd like to hear what Nick and Barry have to play."

"What do you say, Nick?" Barry asks.

"I say… Let's do it!" Nick replies, grabbing a mic. Barry presses a button on the keyboard and a different beat starts playing. The gargoyles start with "Hooray" and more while smiling. Nick claps over his head and Barry dances a little.

"All right!" Nick grins.

"Ohhhh yeahhhh!" Barry cheers, dancing.

"Come on, here we go!"

"Ohhhh yeahhhh!"

"Say it with me!"

 _All_

 _Head bent over_

 _Raised up posterior_

 _Head bent over (ahh yeah)_

 _Raised up posterior_

Outside the church, Duke Weaselton is tied to a bunch of balloons and rope. Sherry Birkin comes over and cuts the rope. Weaselton sees the bats smiling as he rises.

"Ohhh my GOOOOODDDD!" Weaselton yells as he rises.

The song continues onstage.

 _All_

 _Head bent over (yeah)_

 _Raised up posterior (oh yeah)_

 _Head bent over (oh yeah)_

 _(Raised up posterior!)_

"After 988 seasons of Planet Music, the Firebrands have decided to declare Earth the final winner and bring our musical reality show to a close. Goodbye!" The Firebrands declared as Earth is transported back to its rightful place.

"Yeah, we did it!" Everyone cheered for what their actions did.

Outside the church, everyone is still and quiet.

"Did he just say "musical reality show"?" Mole asked.

"Yeah, it's possible that we may have been correlating some things that weren't actually related at all." Gideon spoke.

"HEEEEELLLLPPPP!" Duke Weaselton screams for help in the background.

"We should go get him." Vanessa speaks.

* * *

Inside Area 51, everyone is celebrating. Mayor Lionheart shakes hands with Barry.

"I hope I can call on you and Nick again if we need you, Barry." Mayor Lionheart said.

"Sure thing! And I was kinda hoping that I could get a selfie with you?" Barry asks, pulling out his phone.

Lionheart waves over to a pair of ZPD officers.

"Actually, if you try to tell anyone about what happened here, we'll deny it and probably worse." Lionheart denies the request as the bear officer grabs Barry's phone and crushes it in his palm.

"Understood sir." Barry replies, disappointed.

"DIIIIEEEE!" Wesker screams, running towards them with two guns before he's hit with an energy blast from Nick and disappears.

"Uh, why didn't he turn into a snake?" Lionheart asks.

"Trade secret, Mr. Mayor. Particle beam in the ring… snake holster in the leg." Nick states, raising his pant leg, revealing a holster which a snake crawls out of. The snake slithers away and an officer whistles, impressed. Lionheart begins to laugh and hugs Nick.

"I love this fox!" Lionheart laughs proudly.

* * *

After Earth was saved, Crosshairs returns to Cybertron and meets with Raiden, Wonder Woman, and Doctor Fate in a great hall.

"Lord Raiden, Wonder Woman, Doctor Fate. You have summoned me?" Crosshairs asks.

"We have, Crosshairs. Word of your selfless actions on Earth has travelled across the galaxy." Raiden replies.

"I have changed. I am ready to rejoin my brothers here on Cybertron." Crosshairs declared.

"Very well. On behalf of Cybertron's leader, Optimus Prime, your exile ends today." Raiden declares as he, Wonder Woman and Doctor Fate all raise a gold medallion and they fire a golden beam at Crosshairs, repairing him and his emblem.

"So does this mean Optimus forgives me?" Crosshairs asks.

"We already have." Optimus Prime walks in with Drift, Hound and Bumblebee, seeing Crosshairs for the first time since his exile. "Welcome back, Crosshairs." The Autobot reunion was cut short when the hall starts to shake and crumble.

"The Fulgores! They're attacking!" Skids reports with gunfire being heard.

"Battle stations!" Optimus Prime commands. A piece of the debris falls on top of Doctor Fate.

"Doctor Fate!" Crosshairs gasps before he runs to him.

"Do not worry about me, Crosshairs. Do this for me, for all of Cybertron." Doctor Fate speaks his final words before dying. Crosshairs pulls out two pistols from his holsters.

"Anything to declare before we march into battle, Optimus?" Crosshairs asks.

"All I can say is, Autobots, roll out!" Optimus shouts his battle cry as they battle an army of Fulgores, with Crosshairs shooting two Fulgores in the head. A title appears: "This summer: Transformers: Attack of the Fulgores."

END

* * *

Main Cast

Rick Sanchez: Nick Wilde (Zootopia)

Morty Smith: Barry B. Benson (The Bee Movie)

Summer Smith: Judy Hopps (Zootopia)

Jerry Smith: Gideon Grey (Zootopia)

Beth Smith: Vanessa Bloome (The Bee Movie)

Principal Gene Vagina: Duke Weaselton (Zootopia)

Mr. Goldenfold: Mole (The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature)

The President: Mayor Leodore Lionheart (Zootopia)

General Nathan: Albert Wesker (Resident Evil)

Ice-T/Water-T: Crosshairs (Transformers: Age of Extinction)

Birdperson: Cyrille Le Paradox (Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time)

Tammy Gueterman: Dawn Bellwether (Zootopia)

Ethan: Finnick (Zootopia)

Father Bob: Adam Flayman (The Bee Movie)

Cromulons: Firebrands (Ghosts 'n Goblins)

Simon: Wolford (Zootopia)

Jamey: Fangmeyer (Zootopia)

Terry: Luigi (Super Mario)

Jim: Chuck Chumley (Stubbs the Zombie)

Greebybobes: Greys (Escape from Planet Earth)

Jew: Stan Pines (Gravity Falls)

Arbolian Meterososians: Arbiters (Halo)

Magnesium-J: Raiden (Mortal Kombat X)

Hydrogen-F: Wonder Woman (Injustice 2)

Magma-Q: Doctor Fate (Injustice 2)

Purple-P: Skids (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen)

Numbericons: Fulgores (Killer Instinct)

Special Appearances

Optimus Prime (Transformers: Age of Extinction)

Bumblebee (Transformers: Age of Extinction)

Hound (Transformers: Age of Extinction)

Drift (Transformers: Age of Extinction)

* * *

 **Well, that's it for this story. I hope this story helps you "get foxy"! Archer out!**


End file.
